Marriage is a sanctity bounded by the laws of men and of God. That should be preserved as much as possible regardless of any challenges and difficulties the couple is facing. In fact, if worst comes to be worst, there should always be respect after the affair. It is possible for your husband to have an affair outside your marriage. They don't mind the long time you have been together but that is very common. Time will come that you will go through this problem. However, there should always be forgiveness for any fault. That is just one of the challenges you are facing.
Would you exchange the years you spent helping each other facing family crisis, economic instability, and other personal dilemma over a problem with infidelity? That should not be the case. If you have issues with infidelity, then face it with courage. It is there and the fact won't be changed that there is something wrong with your marriage. Instead of out signifying your husband, you should fix what has been broken. Don't bring those wonderful fun years to an end. There should still be respect after the affair. It is expected for a wife to get hurt, but it is her duty to preserve their marriage for their children.
Making a choice is the best decision. Ethically, it is best that the preservation of your relationship should be made possible. You can talk to your husband what went wrong and why he did that. Infidelity is a kind of temptation that could destroy marriages and even life. It is up for the couple to face it together to put an end of that affair. Open up your differences and fix the problem. If necessary, it is best to see the relationship expert to give you more information on how to solve your problem. That should be the first step to remain respect after the affair.
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